Le Mans. A name that makes petrolheads go weak at the knees and accountants weep quietly in corners. It’s a track so long that if you accidentally leave your indicators on, you’ll need to change the bulb before the lap ends.

And this week, it hosted a four-lap sprint race that delivered enough drama, overtakes, and mild calamities to qualify as a soap opera.

Qualifying – The Calm Before the Storm

It all began with qualifying, where Orrak1 managed seventh on the grid. Now, I’m starting to think he simply lives in seventh. He’s probably set up a little caravan there, with a barbecue and a deck chair.

Radiate, meanwhile, qualified fourteenth, possibly because he was checking his mirrors, admiring the scenery, or calculating the fuel economy of his car. But we all know Radiate loves a comeback.

Dee Dubbs claimed pole position, Rocket slotted into second, and Adz45 was third. All of them clearly determined to make life difficult for everyone else.

Lights Out – And Away We Go!

As the lights went out, Rocket launched off the line like he’d been fired from an actual rocket. Within seconds, he was in the lead, and you could practically hear him giggling over the radio.

Dee Dubbs wasn’t having any of it, though, sticking right behind him like a stubborn piece of chewing gum. Adz45 held onto third, looking cool, calm, and collected, like a man driving to the supermarket for milk.

Naudie, who’d started fourth, appeared to momentarily forget how starts work and slipped back to sixth, while Radiate made a blistering getaway, storming up to eleventh by the end of the first straight. It was as though he’d strapped afterburners to his car.

The First S – A Place Where Things Happen

And then we came to the first S section, which is notorious for being less a sequence of corners and more a gigantic argument.

Turbo Driver was the unlucky soul caught in the crossfire. Radiate gave him a couple of polite nudges—nothing malicious, just the motorsport equivalent of “Excuse me, coming through!” Unfortunately, Turbo Driver hit the brakes just as everyone else was still on the throttle, which, at Le Mans, is about as advisable as stepping off the curb in front of a Parisian taxi.

The result? Turbo Driver dropped from a solid P10 all the way to the back, presumably wondering what on earth just happened.

Radiate’s Rollercoaster

Radiate briefly took tenth and must have been feeling quite chuffed—until the combined horsepower of a Porsche and a Jaguar roared past him like he was pedalling a bicycle. Down to eleventh he went.

But Radiate is not one to give up. At the end of the straight, he lunged bravely past Dangermouse, reclaiming tenth with the sort of move that makes the stewards reach for their penalty sheets—though this time, it was all fair and square.

At the end of lap one, positions were vaguely settled: Orrak1 was seventh, Radiate was eleventh, and everyone was undoubtedly sweating buckets.

Lap Two – The Story Deepens

Radiate, brimming with confidence, tried another outrageous late-braking move into the first S, arriving so late he nearly needed a calendar to stop. He got into tenth again, only for Porsche and Jaguar drivers to deploy warp speed on the next straight and sweep him back to eleventh.

Undeterred, Radiate wrestled the spot back from Dangermouse, proving that persistence—and perhaps a tiny sprinkle of madness—pays off.

Meanwhile, Orrak1 arrived at the end of the third straight and discovered that brakes are, in fact, quite important. He ran wide, lost two places to Beaumont and Turbo Driver, and dropped to ninth.

Falcon picked up a half-second penalty for a minor track-limits misdemeanor. Orrak1 also had a penalty of his own, leading to a delightful moment where they both had to anchor up at the penalty line, presumably while humming elevator music. Radiate took advantage and slipped past Falcon, setting off after his teammate.

Meanwhile, the two BMW drivers were playing an elaborate game of “No, after you,” swapping ninth and tenth with all the regularity of a metronome.

Lap Three – Chaos and Comebacks

Orrak1 was having a bit of a nightmare. He made a couple of little errors early in the lap and let Radiate through. Radiate, now clearly on a mission, put his foot down and never looked back.

Falcon was glued to Orrak1’s rear wing, desperate for the precious reverse-grid slot. And in the S section, Orrak1 went wide yet again, allowing Dangermouse through and dropping him to twelfth. Somewhere in there, the BMWs swapped positions for the thousandth time.

But Orrak1 gathered himself, attacked Dangermouse on the fourth straight, and clawed back eleventh. Radiate picked up a half-second penalty but still sat ninth as the lap wound down.

The order at the end of lap three was Radiate ninth, Falcon tenth, Orrak1 eleventh, Dangermouse twelfth—and, crucially, everyone was still upright.

Final Lap – High Drama

Orrak1 nailed the exit onto the long straight and slipped past Falcon for tenth, just as Falcon ran a touch wide. Radiate was off in the distance by now, gliding serenely toward the finish.

But this is Le Mans, and Le Mans loves chaos.

Falcon fought back, retaking tenth on the next straight. Orrak1, clearly deciding he’d had enough of this nonsense, hurled his car down the inside into the S curves and reclaimed tenth with a move so brave it should probably come with a seatbelt warning.

Falcon kept trying, lunging at every braking zone, but then pushed too hard and sailed wide into the scenery, dropping him to thirteenth and leaving Orrak1 safely back in tenth.

Meanwhile, Dexter Pippa had been slicing through the field like a hot knife through butter and was suddenly looming large in Orrak1’s mirrors. But Orrak1 held firm, crossed the line in tenth, and probably collapsed in relief.

Radiate, meanwhile, managed to sneak past Naudie in the dying moments to finish eighth, which was rather impressive given where he’d started.

The Podium

• Rocket took the win in imperious style, confirming once again that his right foot is attached directly to the Earth’s rotation.
• Dee Dubbs claimed second, refusing to let Rocket vanish completely into the distance.
• S4RG34NT quietly collected third, proving that sometimes, calm and steady really does win the day.

Radiate finished eighth, and Orrak1 salvaged a hard-fought tenth after a race that included brilliant overtakes, a few misadventures, and enough drama to fill an entire season of television.

All in all, it was fast, furious, and completely, wonderfully ridiculous—which, in the world of racing, is precisely how it should be.

ALR Le Mans Main Race

Le Mans. Ten laps around a circuit so big that some drivers consider packing a sandwich and a thermos for the journey. And tonight, it was time for the main race—a showdown packed with strategy, overtakes, and heroic lunges that made even the marshals hold their breath.

The Grid – A Very Unusual Sight

Orrak1, fresh off his adventures in the sprint, started from pole. Yes, you read that correctly. Pole. He probably stood on the grid blinking in disbelief, half expecting someone to come over and shoo him away.

Naudie lined up second, and Radiate third, the three forming a front row that promised fireworks.

Lap 1 – Calm Before the Storm

The lights went out, and… well, not much happened. Everyone behaved themselves, the gaps stayed steady, and Radiate began sniffing around Naudie’s rear bumper, testing the waters. But Naudie held firm, as if to say, “Not today, thank you.”

Lap 2 – It Kicks Off

At the start of lap two, Naudie got a poor run onto the long straight, opening the door for Radiate. As they charged into the first S section side by side, Naudie was forced to cut the corner ever so slightly, earning himself a 2-second penalty.

From that point on, Radiate became Naudie’s worst nightmare, lurking in every braking zone, poking and prodding like a terrier with a new toy.

By the fourth straight’s end, Radiate finally made his move and briefly snatched second place. Meanwhile, disaster struck at the front: Orrak1 lost control of his car and spun off, dropping from first all the way to third. Fortunately for him, Naudie still had that penalty to serve. So as Naudie slowed for the penalty line, Orrak1 sailed back past into second.

End of Lap 2: Radiate was leading, Orrak1 second, and Adz45 hot on their heels.

Lap 3 – The Rollercoaster Continues

At the start of lap three, Adz45 got a better launch and zipped past Orrak1, dropping him back to third. But Orrak1 wasn’t ready to settle.

He applied serious pressure on Adz, and at the end of the second straight, pulled off a bold overtake, reclaiming second.

Moments later, though, on the third straight’s final corner—the exact spot where he’d gone exploring during the sprint—Orrak1 braked too late, ran wide, and tumbled all the way down to eighth.

Meanwhile…

Further up, Turbo Driver and Rocket were having a disagreement in a corner, resulting in a tangle that cost them both dearly. This chaos opened the door for Orrak1, who slipped through the carnage and found himself back up to seventh.

Obiwan, ever the opportunist, capitalized on the confusion, leaping from ninth to sixth in a single bound. I imagine he was grinning from ear to ear.

Lap 4 – BMWs Behaving Themselves

The fourth lap was unusually calm for the BMW drivers, who were likely just happy to keep their cars pointing in the right direction for a change.

At the front, Radiate was cruising, opening a five-second gap to Naudie by mid-lap five. Meanwhile, Orrak1 was locked in a fierce battle with S4RG34NT for sixth and seventh, swapping positions like two people fighting over the last donut in the box.

By lap five’s end, Orrak1 finally emerged ahead and began hunting down Obiwan, who seemed to be lacking his usual pace.

Lap 6 – Strategies Unfold

Radiate dove into the pits at the start of lap six, rejoining in 11th. Orrak1 stayed out for an extra lap, hoping clean air would work in his favour.

Throughout lap six, Obiwan and Orrak1 duked it out for fourth place, door-to-door, lap after lap. Meanwhile, M. Beaumont went deep into the braking zone on the third straight’s final corner, gifting Orrak1 third place as Beaumont dropped back to seventh.

But Obiwan wasn’t done. Just before the long straight, he snatched back third, relegating Orrak1 to fourth once again. And as lap six ended, both drivers peeled into the pits together, side by side like synchronized swimmers.

Lap 7 – The Field Reshuffles

As everyone completed their pit stops, Radiate reclaimed the race lead. Orrak1 emerged in seventh, glued to the rear wing of Dangermouse.

With a perfect run out of the first set of corners, Orrak1 unleashed the BMW’s straight-line speed and blasted past Dangermouse on the straight, reclaiming sixth.

At the start of lap eight, Radiate’s lead over Naudie stood at five seconds—a comfortable gap but not exactly a holiday.

Orrak1 picked up a pesky 0.5-second penalty but still managed to outduel Obiwan at the start of lap eight, jumping into fourth.

But Wait…

After serving his penalty, Orrak1 dropped back again, allowing Obiwan to breeze past. The two resumed their relentless scrap, each refusing to blink.

Lap 9 – The Calm Before the Final Storm

Orrak1 lunged into a corner with a late-braking move that might have made his race engineer faint, retaking fourth from Obiwan as lap nine began. Obiwan, now under pressure from Dangermouse, was momentarily kept at bay, giving Orrak1 a rare moment of peace—and a chance to cool his tyres.

But by the end of lap nine, Obiwan was once again looming large in Orrak1’s mirrors. The whole thing was about to start over.

Final Lap – All or Nothing

Halfway down the second straight, Obiwan made his move, slipping his GTR past Orrak1 to snatch fourth place. Now it was Orrak1’s turn to chase.

Then came the final long straight. Obiwan defended the inside line, determined to hold his place. But Orrak1, tyres shot and brakes probably glowing red-hot, decided to risk everything.

He swung around the outside, carrying huge speed, the BMW sideways but somehow still under control. Spectators must have stopped breathing. And as they hurtled into the corner, Orrak1 kept the car on the black stuff and emerged ahead.

Back into fourth he went—and that’s where he stayed, crossing the line just a whisker ahead of Obiwan.

Final Results:
🏆 Radiate – an imperious drive, leading comfortably after the stops.
🥈 Naudie – solid, fast, and unfazed despite his early penalty.
🥉 ADZ45 – consistent and opportunistic, sealing a well-earned podium.
4️⃣ Orrak1 – a valiant fight, full of risks and recovery drives.

Radiate took the win, Naudie secured second, and ADZ45 claimed third, while Orrak1 came home in a hard-fought fourth. Le Mans had delivered another dose of chaos, speed, and brilliant racing—and reminded us all why motorsport, quite simply, is the best show on Earth.